I know you’ll love these wise insights on forgiveness from my friend Veronica Gerber. We’re very fortunate to have her as our guest blogger today!

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It’s popular to think of “forgive and forget” but, paradoxically, the bridge to forgiveness includes remembering, not forgetting!

Remembering what?

• How much I’ve been forgiven and what it cost the Savior
• Actions have consequences; learning from past mistakes
• Vengeance belongs to the Lord

What dynamic is at work when you find it hard to forgive?

In my own experience, I’ve found it easiest to forgive when I remember how much I myself have been forgiven. When it’s hard to forgive, perhaps it’s because I’ve actually forgotten how much the Lord has forgiven me.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

That being said, actions do have repercussions. There is often a place for rebuke. Forgiving one another does not mean sweeping consequences aside! It’s not an easy or glib exercise.

"He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favour than he who has a flattering tongue." (Proverbs 28:23, NIV)

True forgiveness includes a thorough assessment of the offence and yet chooses to extend the grace of forgiveness.

We can then bravely plumb the depths of whatever offence has befallen us at the hand of another and thereafter truly extend an honourable and thorough forgiveness with mercy and grace— grace that’s soberly assessed the consequences yet forgives anyway.

"Better is open rebuke than hidden love." (Proverbs 27:5, NIV)

When I find it hard to forgive, that’s usually a convicting cue for me to ask the Holy Spirit to examine my own heart and expose whatever doesn’t belong. You see, we can only genuinely offer that which is already ours to give away. Just as that’s true of love and mercy, it is likewise true of forgiveness.

So, in the context of remembering what we ourselves have been forgiven, a place often opens up inside our own hearts for personal repentance.

"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." (Proverbs 28:13, NIV)

As I seek refuge in the forgiveness offered by none other than the Lord Jesus, remembering him who died and rose again so that he could forgive me, how can I withhold the same from a fellow believer? Especially as I remember that God himself has already forgiven them. And if the offender is not a believer, we know that vengeance is ultimately the Lord’s (Rom.12:19).

Ah! Therein lines the rub. Perhaps I’m not ready to relinquish my perceived, albeit worldly, “right” to retribution? Remember, though, that as believers we relinquished our rights.

When we surrendered to Jesus, to his love and forgiveness, we in fact surrendered to his rule in our hearts and lives.

"Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13, NIV)

The path from a misplaced desire for retribution to the resolution of forgiveness is found in remembrance, repentance, and relinquishment—a decided and deliberate shift in focus away from the hurt suffered at the hands of another by seeing my own heart as God sees it, daily recognizing the myriad calls to repentance that would otherwise go unheeded.

This kind of thorough forgiveness is not possible in our own strength, with its suspect motivations and oft’ fickle resolve. But it is available through the power of the Holy Spirit working in us … so that we are supernaturally enabled to relinquish our fleshly desire to exact a penalty.

"He who has been forgiven little loves little." (Luke 7:47, NIV)

Forgiveness does not, however, preclude our responsibility to pay attention to restitution and amends. We must also be careful to remember lessons learned—so that our folly or that of another is not repeated, so that our suffering is not wasted. Indeed there are dividends to be gained all around. May the Lord sanctify to us fully all the afflictions we encounter, be it at our own hands or at the hand of another.

Lastly, why is it so important to forgive?

Because the sooner we settle our accounts along such lines, the sooner we are available again for the Lord’s service!

© 2023 Veronica Gerber. All rights reserved.

© 2023 Lori J. Cartmell. All rights reserved.